It just sounds better in Spanish.

While I was waiting for the elevator this morning, I was looking at the emergency plan for the building.  They've posted it in Spanish and English, because this is Texas.  And just looking at that, a lot of bad things that can happen to you sound a lot better in Spanish.  (This is probably the time to tell you that despite the state in which I live, I don't speak Spanish.  In fact, one of my favorite TV games is "Try To Figure Out What's Going On In the Telenovela," in which I watch a telenovela and just make up my own plot as I go along.  It's very entertaining.)

For instance: fire.  On the emergency plan, it's listed as "incendio."  That sounds like something sparked by a particularly heated political debate.  "I'm a Democrat, and he's a Republican, and when we talk about the issues, sometimes it makes for a real incendio."  It might also soften the blow of losing all your worldly possessions if you don't think of it as a "fire" but as an "incendio."  As in: "We lost a lot of stuff in the incendio."  That sort of sounds like you just misplaced your stuff in a Spanish hole or something.  It should be noted that a fire in a hearth, according to spanishdict.com, is a "fuego."  I like that word, too, because it sounds like a spicy food.  I like spicy foods.

Also: severe weather.  That one is more awesome on several different levels, because the Spanish words are "mal tiempo."  It sounds like the entire atmosphere is just in a very bad mood.  See?  Not so bad.  It's not going to take the roof off your house or anything.  It's just going to storm around, saying bad words also in Spanish.

My favorite is "gunman."  On the emergency plan, it says "hombre armado."  This sounds, to me, like an armored man.  Like maybe Iron Man.  I'm pretty sure I would not hide under the desk until a voice that is known to me tells me it's safe to come out if Iron Man was here.  I'd probably try to get a picture with him to show my kids.  And demand that he say something pithy.

There are other words that don't sound so great when you change them from Spanish to English.  For instance: pregnant.  In Spanish, pregnant is "embarazada."  Which sounds like you're just really embarrassed.  I don't think I was ever embarrassed to be pregnant.  But that word makes it sound like you're walking around perpetually beet-red and apologetic.  Which may actually be how some people spend their pregnancies, I don't know.